He said he loves me from bottom of his heart and I am his everything.
But at the same time his love has conditions, as far I am fulfilling them he loves me and when I am not then I am nothing to him.
How foolish of me to believe that love exists when it is only a state of mind.
In the past month, I was fighting with my past monsters, it consumes all the energy from you, no matter how hard you try something of it always find a way to make you remember all of it, wether it is a word or something you read.
Its no use of forgiving, people always find a way to hurt you again and I am tired of forgiving.
All I wanted is to move forward, with no attachment to my past. But I guess it is my wishful thinking because that can never happen.
One day it will all be gone like the past. All the tears sheded will go in drain. Every pain and misery will vanish. Everything and myself will turn into dust one day. That is what I called “Law of Life.”
Today the world we live in has made ourselves dirty. Here no one is innocent we all have done something in our lives which was wrong, unethical. Some of us has felt filthy by unpleasant looks and offensive comments or unwelcome touch.
It all has left a stain on our souls, no matter how hard we try to wash it, it will never fade away.
The only way, is to embrace it and make promise to ourselves that never let it happen again.
The ghosts from my past still haunts me, they linger in the dark I can see their shadows. I can feel their presence where ever I go. It’s like they are part of myself. The more I try to fight with them the more they come closer to me. They have created a hole inside me which can not be filled by anything in this world.
It is a feeling of numbness that I carry within me everyday.
It’s like a hole in the bottle shallowness
Emptiness ….. that can never be filled
No matter how hard you try to fill it with… but it always stays empty
Nothing happens like you want to, it’s like a paper in the wind…. wandering from place to place
Always ending up at the wrong places.
Life is full of word ‘Maybe’. Everyday I hear this word inside me, in my friends conversation, look on stranger’s face passing by wondering what life would be if this ‘maybe’ come true, perhaps my life would be differnt if I chose another path.
But we never think how much this word is causing damage inside us. We are so fixated on it, that we forget what we have.
In my opinion sometimes, we need to remind ourself to enjoy the simple things of life and remain content on what we have, because once there was a time in your life when you wanted all the things that you have right now.